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This Critique is purely based on the critics opinion. This work is great. Being honest; its good. I evokes many emotions, and the techn...

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Literature
Do you think of me?
When I think of you.
I think about the time we have known each other. Compared to the course of our lives, we have only known each other for too short a time. Years of being in each other's lives, there and gone in the blink of an eye.
Yet, I think of your smile. I remember how bright your smile would be. The joy that beemed on your face, could rival the sun in all its brilliance. Now the world seems so dark. So sapped of joy, it's almost too much to bear.
But, I think of your laugh. I remember how flute like it was. It could lead the orchestra of heaven in song. It's bright and unmistakable sound as it rang across a room. I remembered how the walls would bend as your voice resounded. Now it is quiet. There is no more music. The great orchestra has been stilled, no longer to make wonderful music. It is eerie to the least.
Still, I think of your hair. A slight toss of your hair, and a storm of emotions rages in my still heart. I remember how it changed, how short it became, how it would
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WIP, Commission Rouge Tale by Yiung WIP, Commission Rouge Tale :iconyiung:Yiung 0 0 Autumn Ignatius by Yiung Autumn Ignatius :iconyiung:Yiung 0 0 Weissleigh Englemen by Yiung Weissleigh Englemen :iconyiung:Yiung 0 0 Kou Isamu Nagasane by Yiung Kou Isamu Nagasane :iconyiung:Yiung 0 0 Haku Matthews by Yiung Haku Matthews :iconyiung:Yiung 0 0 Autumn Orna Ignatius  by Yiung Autumn Orna Ignatius :iconyiung:Yiung 0 0 Weissleigh Englemen by Yiung Weissleigh Englemen :iconyiung:Yiung 0 0 Kou Isamu Nagasane by Yiung Kou Isamu Nagasane :iconyiung:Yiung 1 0 Haku Mathews  by Yiung Haku Mathews :iconyiung:Yiung 0 0
Literature
To My One Love
With these words that I sew
There is little that you will know
With these feelings that I am letting overflow
I might as well reach another plateau
If I were to compare u to a mid-summers day
No, not a mid-summer day, for it is not what I wish to portray
If I could say what u are to me today, for every day of my life
It would take me a life time to just go half-way
For a mid-summers day is too small a term to compare to you
Because you are more than just another girl I share a block or two
It is because of you, that my heart has gone hullabaloo over you
My only wish is for you to understand
That anywhere you go, is nothing but a wonderland
Every second, every minute is a moment that is anything but grand
And these moments can’t be clammed up and written down in a crammed diary
All these seconds, all these thoughts, have been on you all along
There has never been a day that only belong to you
So think what you want but just know this, I will follow you till the sky falls down
And
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Literature
This Hole
This Hole I’m in
Is deeper than any made
They say I’m important
But I know it is only a lie they only claim
This Hole I’m in
Is darker than ever
Some support and some love
But I knew they only loved for never
This Hole I’m in
I’m done trying to dig out
My doubts and my fears are crouching near
In a mine I can’t get out
This Hole I’m in
I see nobody but my hate
All the time I spend blotting it out
But, I’m only delaying Fate
This Hole I’m in
Is a tunnel with no end
I’m a Frodo without a Sam
Only to be struck down dead, like the stupid lamb I am
This Hole I’m in
Like Romeo finding his lost life
Only to find his breath
Stabbed and through his breast a knife
This Hole I’m in
I stare at the sky
Seeing all the things of this world
Only to curse at them and turn a blind eye
This Hole I’m in
Is on my head
Sealed to live
But my arm cries pain
And Death is written on my brain
This hole
Deep and dank
In box formed to my
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Literature
Loneliness
I wish I could tell you how I feel. I wish I could help you understand. But what I say maybe incapable of articulating this.
I go about everyday, wishing and hoping. I go about everyday remembering and thinking about what could have been. I spend everyday seeing people, together, and I put a smile on my face to reassure them. That they are happy together, and that there is a person that is happy for them. At a party, I can't help but bounce off the energy and emotion of everyone in the room, and to appear happy. But truthfully,  I am truly alone.
"Singleness is a blessing, it is a good thing to be single". But - oh ho- that is a lie. As I am single I can't help but be alone. Alone to my thoughts. Alone to ponder. Alone to think and wonder. Alone to ask "what is even like to hold their hand"? "What is it like to hold them in my arms and enjoy their embrace" ? "What is it like to sit and to bask in their company" ? "What is it like to have a significant other"?
You think of your you
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So I'm not dead

Sorry for the lack of posts, school has sapped out my creativity and time. So the most recent post is up, and I still have some ideas in the oven, that still need to be completed. So have fun with this one.
When I think of you.


I think about the time we have known each other. Compared to the course of our lives, we have only known each other for too short a time. Years of being in each other's lives, there and gone in the blink of an eye.


Yet, I think of your smile. I remember how bright your smile would be. The joy that beemed on your face, could rival the sun in all its brilliance. Now the world seems so dark. So sapped of joy, it's almost too much to bear.


But, I think of your laugh. I remember how flute like it was. It could lead the orchestra of heaven in song. It's bright and unmistakable sound as it rang across a room. I remembered how the walls would bend as your voice resounded. Now it is quiet. There is no more music. The great orchestra has been stilled, no longer to make wonderful music. It is eerie to the least.


Still, I think of your hair. A slight toss of your hair, and a storm of emotions rages in my still heart. I remember how it changed, how short it became, how it would grow back, and how it would rest on your shoulders. Now, my heart is placid. The ocean has been stilled, unroused by even the smallest of pebbles.


Still, I think of your embrace. How you would fit perfectly in these arms of mine. How your weight leaned into me, as I could barely stand due to the weightless being this close to you made me. How warm you were, and just how you would hang on for dear life. Now. Now, it is cold and lonely.


But, I think of our conversations. However shallow they may have been, they still felt genuine. I could never open myself up to you, in fear of being broken. I had consoled myself that the way things were would be fine. Because after all of this we would be off to the rest of our lives. Our futures lie ahead, and these ties that we thought so childish would hold us back, we thought to throw them aside. But, now I can't imagine a future that isn't with you in it. I see only futures of you as my friend beside me.


Yet, I think of what could have been. If I had admitted. If I had confessed these feelings I had for you. If then, it was just to hold you close for a year. a month. a week. a day, a night. To think of all the things that we could have done in our youth.


I think of you, I think of your beauty, joy, lovea and wisdom. I think of you as my equal. I think of as the sister I never had. So understanding, so open and sympathetic to plight of a simple man.


This is when I think of you. Do you think of me?
Do you think of me?
A meditational free verse.
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At the moment I wrote "Loneliness" I was spending a total of three days at home, alone. But really, the entirety of my time at highschool was effective this. Watching all the people I had grown up with (at that point), getting into relationships, breaking up and doing it all over again. During this time, I was also struggling with my sexuality, and finding my gender identify. I was that guy who brought their laptop everywhere, sneaking in games in the more lax classes, and floating through school. I would consider myself an "ok" looking guy,  but not the kind of guy who would have girls throwing themselves at me. I was a loud, impulsive, insensitive. Yet somehow, I would have some people that seemingly had a crush on me. Even now I don't even know who had a crush on me, and I wish I had gotten a clue, all those years ago. But it was because of my character and my cluelessness that affectively hurt those who may have had feelings for me. At the moment I was writing "Loneliness", I wasn't just feeling the loneliness if being in a house by myself, but also the loneliness of not being able to share my emotions, frustrations and problems of being alone, single, and never being in a romantic/significant relationship. I'm not saying I don't value the love of my friends and family. But rather, it is the nature of the loneliness that comes from being single that my friends and family may be unable to understand. A loneliness that alienates you because you don't have significant other, third wheel syndrome if you will.

If you have comments, concerns or queries, do so down below. If you want to suggest a poem idea, comment or pm me. See you soon and have a wonderful day

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Yiung
Louis
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Canada
I'm just a dude that does art for fun
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:iconrizzyokuni:
RizzyOkuni Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much for the watch! :D

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:iconricchy:
ricchy Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2017  Professional Photographer
Merci :)
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:iconchristopher-stoll:
Christopher-Stoll Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch!
If you enjoy my anatomical artwork please check out the PokéNatomy Kickstarter!

Pokenatomy Banner by Christopher-Stoll  

Now you can get the scientific world of Pokémon in print in a high-quality, fully illustrated, unofficial guidebook, designed to help people of all ages understand the power that's inside!

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:icondamaimikaz:
DamaiMikaz Featured By Owner May 4, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank for the watch :iconthxwatchplz:
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:iconhappyberryred:
happyberryred Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2016  Hobbyist
Thanks for your watch! :heart:
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